In the beginning, God created the heavens and the earth. Now the earth was formless and empty, darkness was over the surface of the deep, and the Spirit of God was hovering over the waters.
And God said, “Let there be light,” and there was light. God saw that the light was good, and he separated the light from the darkness. God called the light “day” and the darkness he called “night.”
And God said, “Let there be an expanse between the waters to separate water from water.” So God made the expanse and separated the water under the expanse from the water above it. And it was so. God called the expanse “sky.”
And God looked upon the waters and said, “I wonder what would happen if I put that water in some kind of...shaker? ”
Thus, he created another kind of liquid. God named it after himself—the Spirit of God—and then shortened it by dropping the last part.
Six days later, all there was to be found in the heavens and earth had been created, all except for man. Then God did create man in His own image. God called the first man “Adam.” Then, sensing Adam’s restlessness, God did create Eve in the image of Adam, albeit enhanced with a pleasing curviness.
The two new beings were joyful in the garden created for them by the Lord. God then instructed them to continue His holy task of naming all they found there. And so they did. When the task of creating words for all the works of God was completed, Adam and Eve compared their achievements. Eve was pleased with Adam’s names for “dog,” “fibula,” and “coral,” while Adam thanked his wife for “gazelle,” “water lily,” and “salamander.” Adam and Eve celebrated with frolicsome behaviour.
And the Spirit of God appeared, hovering over the garden.
“Hey, you two,” He said. “Get a room.”
Adam and Eve laughed at the jest of the Lord, for shame had yet to despoil this place. They rearranged their bodies and told the Lord of all the names they had created for His works. God smiled, nodding and hovering at what He heard, complimenting Adam and Eve’s names with phrases such as “That’s a good one” and “That’s so much better than the one I had.”
It was many hours before Adam and Eve finished reciting the list to their Lord God. By then, it was neither light nor darkness, but a mixture of the two.
“Excuse us, Lord,” said Adam. “We shouldn’t have kept you.”
“Au contraire,” said God. “Your company has been a delight to Me. And I have something that should be a delight to you as well.”
And with a flourish of His mighty hand, God revealed to Adam and Eve a beautiful vessel containing the shaken water, which he called “spirit.”
“I do believe,” He said, “it is the hour for a libation.”
In their hands, God placed two silver cups and did fill them with liquid from the vessel. Adam and Eve looked upon the cups with amazement and wondered at the immenseness of the Lord.
God looked down upon them. “Well,” He said, “bottoms up!”
Adam was the first to drink. He felt a tingling in his lips as the liquid wet them and then a sensation in his mouth, startling and vivid. When he swallowed, the liquid felt hot in his throat. The taste was new, but familiar, and excited Adam greatly.
He shivered with pleasure and gasped.
“Pretty good, huh? ” asked the Lord God.
“Oh yeah,” said Adam. He looked to his wife and said, “You’ve got to try this.”
And Eve looked warily down at the cup in her hands. “I don’t know,” she said. “It smells awfully strong.”
“C’mon,” said Adam.
“Yeah,” said the Lord God, “try it.”
Eve sniffed at the liquid. Then she lifted it to her lips. After they were touched by the merest drop, she lowered the cup.
“You know,” she said, “I have an idea.”
She turned to the first and most loyal of the creatures that rested near them, the one they called “dog.” “Could you be a darling and go get me some berries? ” she asked.
“Sure thing,” said Dog, which then took its leave.
“Eve,” said Adam, “aren’t you pleased with this gift from our Lord? ”
“Of course,” she said. “Why, everything He’s created so far has been just terrific.” She looked up to God. “Really,” she said.
Dog returned to Eve’s side, clutching a bucket of berries in its gleaming teeth. “Here ya go, lady,” it mumbled.
And Eve did take a handful of red and purple berries and held them over her cup, wringing out the fine sweet juice.
“There,” said Eve, as she wiped her juice-stained hand on a flank of her newly-created backside. Once again she lifted the cup to her lips, but this time she was unafraid. Instead, she drank deeply.
“Mmm,” she said. “Oh yes.”
“You diluted it,” said God, with not undue sternness.
“No, silly,” said Eve as she began to giggle, “I improved it.”
She drank again.
“Here, you try,” she said to her husband. And she gave him her cup.
Though confused by the look he saw upon the shining visage of the Lord, Adam did consume the darkened spirit.
“Hmm,” he said. “That’s fine, though it is a little sweet for me.”
“I think it tastes perfect,” said Eve.
“Oh, do you? ” said God.
And Eve giggled again. “Oh, God, You know what would taste even better? If we mixed the berry juice with that mashed grape drink You gave us with lunch. That would be, like, a double fruit sensation.”
“Yeah,” said Adam.
Hovering and immense, the Lord could not conceal His displeasure. But His creations paid him no mind.