Pyro

Place me next to God
On your wrought-iron bookshelf

In the corner
In the dark

I’ll be safe there
Dear

My how the grass has grown
Over both our heads

Lost in my own backyard
And grazing like cattle

I hadn’t eaten since Easter
Not bathed since I became afraid of water

Even rain
And the liquid I’m pouring down my throat

In handfuls, bucketfuls
I heard a voice last night

From the sky
Fell into my head like snow

Freezing all my dreams
All my hopes of closing my eyes

In the comfort of someone’s warm embrace
At the drugstore I bought a sedative

At the second-hand store I bought a surrogate lover
A poster of one of my heroes reclining on the hood

Of a blue Chevy pickup truck
I took him home, pinned him to the wall

Blew him kisses
Blew the candle flame across the curtains

Warmed my hands over the fire
Watched my heart go up in flames

— ALEXANDRA LEGGAT

(Originally published Christmas, 2000.)